A&I Wealth Management > Blog > Families > How can I talk to my inheritors without spoiling them?

Many people struggle with the desire to keep their wealth private and prepare their children and grandchildren to receive the money. So, we want to have our cake and eat it too! Let’s walk through a few good ideas. With proper planning, and an experienced guide to help you do just that.

One of the first, best ideas is to look at yourself. Ask some questions to help get at what you are worried about. Then, imagine what it would feel like if those problems were solved, and you could share with them the truth about their future inheritance. You might feel great joy, or satisfaction, or stress relief. What obstacles do you foresee having to overcome before you can feel that joy?

Let’s start at the beginning. If you want to tell them, what are you worried about? Are you worried that your inheritors would lose their work ethic if they knew they would inherit this money? What makes you think that?

As you answer, be specific. Talk it through with your loved one, or a guide, or counselor. Often the worry reveals something inside yourself, and you may want to pay attention to that. For example, you might think, “I did not inherit anything!” And how does that make you feel? Are you jealous of the inheritors? That feeling is both ridiculous and perfectly common and normal.

Or another common situation is distrust of strangers. For example, you might not trust the spouse or other people in the inheritor’s life. You can put legal protections in place, using a trust for example, to protect the financial assets from untrustworthy (pun intended) people. So perhaps it is something else. Dig a little deeper and you might find something holding you back from greater happiness.

Imagine how good it would feel if you could spend time helping to prepare your heirs for their future windfall. Imagine how much safer it would be if they were already prepared. What if they had a plan for the money? What if they shared it with you and you were able to help shape it, form it, make it even better? What if you could share your experiences and knowledge to help the next generation avoid mistakes and make the most of themselves? What if they could achieve even more than either of you could imagine?

So, what is stopping you? What are the specific obstacles? How can you and your wealth manager overcome these? First step, ask! Talk! Let’s get started with a safe and prosperous conversation about health wealth transfer and see how much better you may feel!

Other questions you might ask include:

  1. How do I teach younger generations financial stewardship?
  2. How do I transfer my values and stories?
  3. How do I ensure a financial legacy?
About the author

Karl Frank, Certified Financial Planner ®, MSF, MBA, MA, is the President of A&I Financial Services LLC, a local business that specializes in wealth management, insurance planning, and retirement planning. Karl cares for business owners and the businesses that care for them. Learn More about Karl.